


Of Abandonment, Desperation and Commitment

by CJ_fics



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:19:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4541268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJ_fics/pseuds/CJ_fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver starts pulling away from Felicity again (with good reason!). Felicity deals with it.</p>
<p>A fic prompt from Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Abandonment, Desperation and Commitment

_It was happening again_ , the thought occurred to Felicity before she could stop herself. Ignoring her dread, she forced herself to believe that this was temporary. That the distance Oliver had put between them as of late wouldn’t last.

All she needed to do, she vowed to herself, was to be patient and give him space. After all, the past several weeks had been intense, the most intense time they’ve had since returning to Starling City six months ago.

Sara Lance was alive, for one. Malcolm Merlyn had put her in the Lazarus Pitt in order to gain Nyssa’s allegiance and support, which he did. But Sara had been dead for many months since coming back alive, so she was different. Way different.

Oh, she could still kick ass but she wasn’t quite all there with some memories missing from her mind. No, not memories, Felicity corrected herself. She seemed to have forgotten what she had become, how strong she was, and she seemed to have lost her emotional connections with anyone other than Oliver and Laurel. Gone was the confident Sara Lance, and in her place was a version of her that was stuck in the frame of mind during her time in Lian Yu. Very afraid, thinking nothing but survival. Cold and calculating at times. And very dependent on Oliver.

Felicity could see the toll it was taking on Oliver. She could see the guilt back in Oliver’s eyes, blaming himself for bringing Sara along with him on the Queen’s Gambit because he was too cowardly to tell Laurel that he wasn’t ready for commitment. He would look at Nyssa so apologetically after Sara would seek him out, ignoring the assassin who loved her, who had become a silent, looming presence in the lair, always in the shadows, watching out for Sara. Felicity could see the pressure that Laurel had started putting on his shoulders, blaming him once again for what happened to Sara – as if Oliver needed help in that matter. It seemed to her that all the gains Oliver has had over the past nine months, after Ra’s Al Ghul, when he decided to allow himself to be happy, had almost fully regressed.

On top of the return of the Lance Sister Drama, as she called the situation in her head when she allowed herself some bitterness, H.I.V.E. had plans to make a move on Starling City according to intel that ARGUS and the League of Assassins had provided, but what exactly they were planning, no one knew. There was a wave of assassinations across the city – from mayors to mob leaders. The team had the feeling that H.I.V.E. was behind the hits – but for what, they didn’t know.

Then, there was Malcolm Merlyn’s constant trips back to Starling City to try to win Thea back, and whatever else the mass murderer was plotting. Another possible complication that no one needed.

Despite her worries about Oliver, despite her fears about what would become of the two them, Felicity promised herself that she wouldn’t add to Oliver’s burdens. She agreed when he asked for time and patience as he dealt with the re-risen Sara, the H.I.V.E. agenda and Malcolm Merlyn. She didn’t complain when he but all stayed in the new lair with Sara and Nyssa, only showing up in their home when he needed a change of clothes and had a few extra minutes to spend with her. She listened whenever he shared with her how he felt about what was going on – with Sara, his suspicions on H.I.V.E, his worries about Merlyn, and whatever latest mission they were in the middle of. She showed up every night to be the team’s tech support, even after a long day as CEO of Palmer Tech, because it was really the only time she could see Oliver and be in his presence. She would offer him hugs and kisses when he seemed like he needed that connection – and when he allowed her. She continued to believe that Oliver loved her, and wanted to be with her, even if a small part of her suspected that she might have lost him already. She ignored the sinking feeling in her stomach – somewhat similar but stronger, to that time that she began to realise that her father was never coming back – and smiled whenever she felt like Oliver needed that from her.

She was patient and supportive, understanding the complexity of the situation she and Oliver found themselves in. She really was.

Until she had to scrub footage of Oliver and Sara kissing in the lair.

———————–

_He was the biggest, most horrible idiot in the known universe_ , Oliver told himself as he repeatedly bashed his forehead on the front door of his and Felicity’s loft.

“Felicity,” he begged, “Please let me in, let me explain! It’s not what you think! Please, Felicity!”

When the door opened abruptly, causing Oliver to stumble before righting himself.

“I told you, I needed time to organise my stuff, then you can have this place,” Felicity said  in a loud voice, tear tracking down her cheeks, her face pink with a livid blush. Her eyes were sad and cold and angry. Heartbroken.

Oliver’s heart breaks at the sight.

“Felicity,” Oliver started desperately, taking a step into their home, “Please, I can explain.”

“You don’t need to,” Felicity responded, turning away from him to pick up her suitcase.

“Felicity!” Oliver cried, trying to block her from picking her suitcase up with a hand on her wrist, “She kissed me! I didn’t kiss her back! I swear! I was just too shocked to react! Once the shock was gone, I stopped her! You have to believe me, Felicity! Nyssa was there! She could tell you what happened!”

“I know, Nyssa spoke to me about it,” Felicity said before deflating and removing her wrist from Oliver’s hold.

“Why are you leaving?” Oliver asked, despondent. “Why are you leaving, if you know I didn’t cheat on you? I would never, Felicity!”

Felicity looked down, before taking a deep breath and meeting his eyes bravely, “Because we’re really not together, Oliver. For the past several weeks, you’ve put me on hold. You don’t even come home anymore. I understand that you’re dealing with a lot of things, not the least of which is a clingy Sara Lance. Sorry, that was mean. I get it. I do. It’s just that, I don’t want to be cast aside anymore, until you’re free to deal – be – with me. But I don’t want to burden you further. So, I’m going to go.”

“You’re not a burden, Felicity,” Oliver stepped closer to her, taking her shoulders in his hands, “You can never be one to me. Please, I’ll do better. I’m sorry that I’ve cast us aside. I’m sorry that you feel like you, this relationship, is a burden to me. I’m sorry. I’ll do better, Felicity! Just give me one more chance!”

“You’ve got too much going on, Oliver,” Felicity said sadly, stepping away from him, “I think it’s best, if I don’t expect anything from you. And we just end this.”

“Felicity…” Oliver murmured, tears running down his face, his arms hanging limp, “Please.”

“It’s better this way, Oliver,” Felicity tried to flash him a smile, her tears betraying the effort, “This way, you can focus on everything else. I’ll still help. I’ll be at the lair still, OK? I won’t stop being part of the team.”

“Where are you going?” he asked morosely. She had given up her townhouse when they decided to move in together. “You don’t have to leave.”

“I’ll stay at a hotel for a bit, while I look for a new place,” Felicity responded, picking her suitcase from the floor.

Oliver sobbed, finally realising that nothing he can say or do would make Felicity stay. He made one more attempt, he was desperate, “I love you, Felicity. I always will. I’m never going to love anyone else. Just – please, Felicity. I’ll do better. Please.”

Felicity, unable to stand the sight of Oliver crying and in pain, turned away from him and walked out the door.

———————-

“He didn’t cheat on you, you know,” Thea announced morose voice as she walked into Felicity’s office three days after she and Oliver broke up.

“I know,” Felicity said just as morosely, looking up in surprise at seeing Thea. She smiled sadly at the younger woman, “I know that.”

“Why did you dump him then?” Thea asked with a whine, standing in front of Felicity’s desk with her hands folded across her chest.

“I – I didn’t,” Felicity stuttered, standing up with a hand reaching out to Thea.

“You did!” Thea insisted, “And he’s miserable. He tries to hide it when you’re around, but when you’re gone, he just – he – he just deflates.”

Felicity sighed, trying to keep the tears at bay. She knew where Thea was coming from. The younger woman had been enthusiastic and supportive of the relationship between Oliver and Felicity, loving the fact that her brother was finally in the right place in his life for a real, committed and loving relationship. Over the months that Felicity and Oliver had been back in Starling City, Thea and Felicity had become closer – at first, because of the love they each had for Oliver, but eventually as true friends.

“Thea,” Felicity began, “I think it’s better for Oliver and I, if we just remain friends and partners. There’s so much going on right now. We have to focus on what’s happening.”

“Bull!” Thea protested, “I know he gets focused on his work, I know sometimes he can’t see beyond the problems he has to deal with, I know that, Felicity! But the two of you! You were supposed to get through the problems together! Not apart!”

“Thea,” Felicity said consolingly, reaching a hand out to clutch Thea’s forearm, “I’ll still be in the team. I’ll still support Oliver – and the rest of the team. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“I know you’re not leaving the team, Felicity,” Thea responded in a quieter voice, “It’s Oliver I’m worried about. He’s more than what he does at night, he’s more than his mission and all the problems he’s facing. He knew that. He was building a life with you, because you’re his more.”

Felicity sighed, not knowing how to respond to Thea.

“He loves you, you know,” Thea continued, “He loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone, Felicity. You have to know that.”

Felicity hung her head, “I wish that were true,” she muttered.

Before Thea could protest, Felicity continued, tears falling down her face, “Oliver – he –he has a lot of things to deal with. And I want to be his partner. I really do. But I don’t think there’s space for the kind of relationship I want with him in his life. I don’t – I don’t think it would be right for me to fight for that space. He has too much already. I don’t want to be one more thing he has to deal with. And – and – I know from experience that I – our relationship – it’s – I’m – it’s the one he will always give up first. And I don’t – I can’t fight for something – I don’t want to be the one always set aside. I just – I just – I can’t.”

Her heart breaking for the blonde, Thea reached out to pull Felicity in her arms.

——————-

“What are you going to do?” Digg asked from out of the blue as he and Oliver cooled down from a sparring session.

Oliver looked at him in confusion.

“About Felicity,” Digg clarified, “What are you going to do about Felicity?”

Oliver slumped his shoulders, sighing, “I don’t know if there’s anything I could do.”

Digg raised his eyebrows in response, crossing his arms across his chest, silently urging Oliver to continue.

“Felicity saw footage of Sara kissing me. She–”

“You know that’s not the issue, right?” Digg interjected, “You know Felicity knows that you didn’t kiss Sara back.”

“I know. She said, she knew,” Oliver said, rubbing his forehead with his right hand, “It was the final straw for Felicity though. I’ve been – I’ve not been focusing on our relationship since all this started. I know that Felicity understood but it still hurt her. I shouldn’t – I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” Digg agreed, “So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know what I can do,” Oliver responded desperately.

“Well, what do you want?” Digg prodded, “Do you want her back? Do you want her to be happy?”

“Of course, I want her to be happy!” Oliver answered in a loud voice.

“Look, man, a year ago, all you ever wanted for Felicity was for her to be happy. That’s why you let her go. That’s why you didn’t fight for her,” Digg argued, “And you were both miserable. Don’t make the same mistake this time, Oliver. Because if you really want Felicity to be happy, then you will fight for her. You will fight to be with her.”

“I don’t know if I should!” Oliver shouted, pacing the floor of their lair, his hands rubbing the back of his head, “There’s always going to be something. There’s always going to be a problem that we have to deal with. And I’m always going to put my relationship with Felicity on hold. I don’t want that for her. I want to be the kind of man who can afford to put her first. Always. That’s the least that she deserves. I don’t know, if I can ever have that kind of life.”

“Oliver,” Digg blocked the other man’s frantic pacing, “One of these days, you’re going to lose Felicity. Really lose her. To someone else. To another city. To death. To–”

“Digg!” Oliver protested, pushing roughly at Digg’s chest.

“Let me finish, Oliver,” Digg said, crossing his arms across his chest, “When you lose her, you will always regret that you didn’t try. That you gave her up. That you gave up on your relationship. I don’t want that for you.”

Oliver walked away from Digg, bitterly muttering, “Maybe I deserve that.”

—————

Three days later, Oliver’s heart crashed to the ground at the Channel 5 breaking news headline, “ _Palmer Tech CEO Abducted in Broad Daylight from Her Hotel Room_ ”.

Oliver dropped the arrow he had been sharpening as he saw the headline on the TV playing in the background in the lair to run to the Starling City Grande in panic. He didn’t even think to take the Ducati, he just ran across the city, jumping on rooftops, scaling walls, rolling on the ground, with one thought in his mind. Felicity.

Out of breath, he rushed to the entrance of the hotel only to be stopped by an SCPD officer.

“Sir, civilians are not allowed inside,” the policeman, a Martin Donner, said with a hand raised to halt the panting Oliver.

“Felicity,” Oliver murmured unable to say anything else.

“Do you know the abductee?” Martin asked with a frown.

“She’s his girlfriend,” a voice from behind Oliver answered. Captain Lance.

“Felicity,” Oliver said in a more urgent voice.

“I’m sorry, Queen,” Lance said regretfully, “We haven’t discovered anything beyond what the news has covered. Our officers are still gathering information.”

Oliver’s shoulders slumped as he looked around, hoping to find something. Or someone to hit.

“Would you know why anyone would want to kidnap her? Anyone from work?” Lance prodded gruffly, “Or anyone from her night-time job?”

Oliver shook his head. As far as he knew, they weren’t getting any leads on H.I.V.E, which frustrated Felicity, and the last person they caught was behind bars.

“Why is she staying in the hotel anyway? The manager says she’s been staying here for three nights,” Lance continued.

“She left me,” Oliver muttered, looking down.

Lance huffed bitterly while shaking his head, “Finally came to her senses, didn’t she.”

Clenching his teeth, Oliver nodded before saying, “Can I have a look in her room?”

“No can do, Queen. Our CSI are working the room,” Lance said, “Surely, you have the resources to find out what happened to Ms. Smoak.”

Oliver raised his head to look Lance in the eye, “I will.”

Before Lance could respond, a voice from behind Oliver cried, “Ollie!”

Thea rushed to her brother who had remained unmoving as she wraps her arms around him, “I just found out!”

Behind her Digg stood stoically, nodding at Oliver, “Perhaps we should leave the SCPD to do their jobs. We can wait somewhere else and get out of their way.”

“Yeah, you do that, Mr. Diggle,” Lance responded before turning away, muttering, “And let the SCPD know if you find anything.”

———————-

It’s been more than six hours since Felicity’s abduction. They were no closer to getting information about Felicity’s whereabouts, or anything about her abductors. With each hour that passed, Oliver’s hope dwindled.

What if Felicity was gone for good? What if he had to do this without her? What if he had to live without her presence in his life?

Forcing his thoughts away from despair, he refocused his attention on what the team had been doing.

As soon as they returned to the lair, Digg and Thea started looking at Felicity’s computer logs to see if they could find any clue as to what happened to her. Oliver called everyone he could for leads: Waller, Malcolm Merlyn, even Anatoly. When those didn’t yield any results, he asked Palmer to go to his company and see, if there is any information to be had there, and Laurel to monitor the SCPD.

He then turned his attention to Iron Heights, in case any of the criminals they put away had escaped recently. Barry had offered to go and see for himself, and Oliver agreed. Barry, Cisco and Caitlin had arrived sometime in the fourth hour to offer their assistance.

Cisco had taken over manning Felicity’s computer systems for information with Caitlin assisting.

Once it was dark enough to head out, the team hit the streets and asked around for information. They over-turned every nook and cranny in the Starling City, shaking up petty thieves, grifters, drug dealers, addicts, con artists – everyone that they could get their hands on – for information on the missing CEO.

By the end of the evening, there were a lot more criminals with arrows in their legs than usual. Oliver was barely holding on to his temper. Barely holding on to hope. As he stood on a rooftop across the hotel where Felicity was last seen, Oliver couldn’t control the thoughts that plagued his mind.

_Where was Felicity? Why can’t he find her? Who had her? What was he missing? What if someone was hurting her right this minute and he was too stupid, too slow, too inefficient, to find her in time?_

Then his internal thoughts changed, turning more dire, more desperate, more hopeless.

_What if she was dead? What would he do? How could he continue? Wha–_

Digg’s voice rang via the commlink, interrupting Oliver’s spiral, “Lyla might know who has her. Come back to the lair.”

——————-

Once they have the lead on what happened to Felicity, it takes the team less than an hour to find and rescue her.

Felicity had been abducted by goons hired by William Tockman, after he was released into A.R.G.U.S. custody for a mission that needed his particular brand of skills. He had been sneaking out of the A.R.G.U.S. headquarters when Lyla apprehended him and asked him where he was heading. After fifteen minutes of interrogation with one scary Lyla Michaels-Diggle, Tockman had revealed that he had Felicity abducted and was on his way to her location to enact his revenge on her for beating him with his own virus and causing his arrest.

Once Lyla had shared Felicity’s location, the team headed out to a warehouse near the docks where they found Felicity bound and gagged, and surrounded by five heavily armed goons. Oliver had taken all of them down before anyone on the team could make one move.

“Felicity!” Oliver shouted, urging her to wake up. He had cut off the ties that bound her to steel post and was mentally scanning her for injuries (shallow cut on her forehead, bruise on her cheek, cut lower lip, bruises on her wrists and ankles from being bound).

“Oliver …?” Felicity asked tentatively, her eyelids fluttering.

“Shh, I’m here, baby, I’m here,” Oliver whispered, nuzzling the side of her head, “I was so worried.”

“I think it was Tockman–” Felicity tried to explain.

“We know. Lyla caught him,” Oliver replied, “Let’s get you out of here.”

Oliver lifted Felicity in his arms before heading towards the warehouse exit.

“What do we do with these guys?” Thea asked, pointing to the henchmen who had been lying unconscious ever since a livid Green Arrow was done with them.

“Tie them, the SCPD should be on their way,” Oliver answered dismissively, “I’m taking Felicity to a hospital.”

“Oliver, I think I have to stay here,” Felicity said, “If SCPD is on their way, then I have to be here to give my statement.”

“She’s right,” Digged interjected, “The –”

“She’s injured, Digg!” Oliver growled, “She needs medical attention! Who knows what those bastards did to her!”

“I’m fine,” Felicity answered in a low voice, “Most of my injuries were from when they abducted me. They didn’t touch me after they bound me. Well, they knocked me out eventually. I think it’s because I kept talking too much, trying to get them to reveal who was behind this–”

“Who knocked you out?” Oliver asked.

“Does it matter?” Felicity frowned.

“Yes,” Oliver nodded, turning his head to look at the unconscious goons, trying to figure out who was the culprit.

“I’m fine,” Felicity insisted as she pulled his face towards her, “Just a little headache and sore muscles, I promise.”

As she caught his gaze, Oliver clenched his jaw. It’s been so long since he had gotten to meet her eyes and get her to look at him.

“I thought I’d lost you,” Oliver whispered, nuzzling his nose against her uninjured cheek, “I don’t want to lose you, Felicity.”

“I’m still here,” Felicity whispered back with a sad smile, “I’m still here.”

———————

After Felicity’s abduction and rescue – after she had to deal with police statements and press briefings with a version of what happened, leaving out Tockman’s involvement and making it look like the entire thing was just a kidnap for ransom, after the doctors at Star City Medical cleared her for injuries, and after she had had several hours of sleep in their bedroom – Felicity wakes up to the familiar smells of breakfast cooking.

She looks over the the bedside clock to see the time. 6pm.

_Why was Oliver cooking breakfast as six in the evening?_

After taking a quick shower, Felicity heads to the living area to see the dining room laden with several platters of food and Oliver still stirring things in various pots on the stove.

“You’re awake,” Oliver greets tentatively.

“How long have I been asleep?” she asks, thinking it would be better to get the logistical questions out of the way before she has to deal with their current reality.

“About eight hours,” Oliver responds.

“Right,” Felicity nods, “What’s this?” she asks, motioning to all the food.

“I didn’t know what you would want when you woke up,” Oliver says sheepishly, “So, I made your favourites.”

Felicity sighs before stepping closer to the kitchen island, “Oliver …”

“Look, I have the mushroom omelette that you love – with three kinds of mushrooms, and challah french toast! I even have some blackberry syrup for that – with the orange rind – that you like – And cheese danish, of course – and I made some cronuts! Remember when you said that you imagined those even before they came out. I just need to finish the glaze – Also, I made some latke. We can top that off with creme fraiche – just how you like them. And I’m just about to finish with the matza ball soup. Do you want to start with that? We –”

“Oliver,” Felicity interrupts him, shaking her head with tears in springing in her eyes. How can she say goodbye to someone who did this? Someone who tried so hard to please her? Someone who loved her this much? Even when he has to cast her aside so that he could deal with everything else – she knows that he loved her, she knows that being apart hurt him, too.

“I know, this doesn’t fix anything, Felicity,” Oliver admits with a helpless shrug, “I know, you’re still going to leave – That – that I’ve fucked things up between us. I know that. I – I just want – Can you eat something before you go?”

“I got abducted at the worst possible time,” Felicity sniffs, dropping her gaze.

“There’s no good time for you to get abducted,” Oliver interjects in a low voice.

“No, I meant, this time, we had just broken up,” Felicity clarifies, “So, there’s all these – feelings of responsibility, leftover feelings – I can’t – I don’t know what to do. How to feel. What – what to think. How to take this – With – Without – To be grateful but to know that – this – It doesn’t mean anything – No, not that! It means something – I know that – It means you care – and that you love –That you care, Oliver. But –”

“But, you think this is brought on by guilt on my end,” Oliver concludes for her, hating to see her struggle to express herself without hurting him, hating knowing that he’s hurt her so much that she would second-guess what she meant to him, even more.

She nods sadly in response, her eyes still on the floor, “I know, you love me, Oliver. I know, you care. And I love you, I care about you. But this really doesn’t change anything.”

“How can it _not_ change anything?” Oliver cries, heading closer to her but stopping himself from reaching for her by clenching fists to his sides, “I love you! You love me! I am so in love with you, Felicity! And you’re in love with me! None of us have ever felt this way about any other person before – I highly doubt that I would ever feel this way about anyone ever! That means something, that means _everything_! It has changed everything!”

“No, it hasn’t!” Felicity shouts back. “ _This_ ,” she motions to the two of them, “This is still the most expendable thing to you! This is still the one that would sacrifice first. And I understand, Oliver. I do. You’ve got so many things to deal with. And – and – I think – I feel – that this is too much for you. And I don’t want to be the person you sacrifice more important things in your life for. Because there are more important things than this. I know that.”

Oliver visibly deflates with a sob, “It’s not. You’re not, Felicity. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. I’m sorry that I couldn’t juggle everything that’s been going on. I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like this – you – like you are not the most important part of my life. Because it is. _You_ are.”

Felicity covers her face with her hands as she cries, causing Oliver to let go of his hurt to pull her in his arms to comfort her.

“I’m scared, Oliver,” Felicity admits in a small voice, pulling away from him, “When I saw the footage of Sara kissing you, it scared me. I knew you would never do that to me, I knew what Sara has been going through, I understood all of that – But that didn’t matter. It still hurt. It still felt like being abandoned.”

“Felicity–”

“Let me finish,” she implores, ignoring the tears falling from her eyes, “I know, I love you, Oliver. I will never love anyone the way that I love you. You’re it, for me. After you, there will never be anyone. Ever. And I know what our lives are like. I know that we will be pulled in different directions all the time. Constantly. I was prepared for that. I vowed to be patient and supportive and not demanding because I understood. I really do. When I saw Sara kissing you, I was livid, at first. I wanted to claw your eyes out. Yours and Sara’s. I wanted to burn all of your things out in the street. I was that livid. Then I realised why it happened. I knew, even before Nyssa told me what had happened, that it wasn’t what it seemed. That Sara was in a different state of mind, and you were just being a supportive friend. As you always are.”

She takes a deep breath before continuing, “But it still hurt. I thought that if I was patient and supportive and not demanding, I would have been spared from being hurt. From feeling abandoned. Because that’s what I’ve been feeling even before that footage. I’ve been feeling left out and left behind. By you. Seeing Sara kiss you just made it impossible for me to ignore those feelings. I didn’t think that you would ever abandon me, Oliver – not after we decided to give this a shot. But you could and you did – I know it wasn’t by choice. I understand that. But no amount of understanding on my part will ever make me feel less abandoned – and now I’m scared.”

She looks up to meet his crying eyes, “Do you understand why I can’t be with you anymore, Oliver?”

Oliver nods dejectedly, and says in a small voice, “So, let’s leave.”

“What?”

Oliver takes a deep breath, “Let’s leave all of this behind. Let’s leave all of this complication behind. We can set up our lives somewhere else, where we can be normal and not have to deal with any of this. No Malcolm Merlyn. No H.I.V.E. No Lance sister drama. No vigilante life. No villains of the week. Just you and me.”

“We’ve tried that already,” Felicity frowns, “It didn’t work.”

“It didn’t work because we agreed to come back to help the team out. Because we agreed that we wanted more out of our lives,” Oliver insists, “But, Felicity, I don’t want anything more in life than you. I would willingly leave this all behind, if it meant I get to be with you.”

“Oliver, it’s not our lives that is causing this,” Felicity argues.

“I know that, Felicity, it’s _me_ ,” Oliver says desperately, “It’s me who can’t juggle everything. It’s me who makes you feel like you’re being abandoned. But maybe, if we leave all of this, then I’ll learn. Maybe, if we remove any unnecessary aspects in our lives, then I can show you that you are my everything, Felicity. Just – I can’t lose you. I don’t want to live a life where we’re not together, Felicity!”

“Oh, Oliver,” Felicity cries.

“I know, I don’t deserve this, Felicity. I know, I fucked up and hurt you, but just –”

“You deserve to be happy, Oliver,” Felicity interrupts, unable to withstand the desperation in Oliver’s eyes. She knew she wouldn’t ever leave him, but she realised now that she won’t ever let him leave her.

“I can’t be happy without you, Felicity,” Oliver responds in a begging tone, “I want to be with you. I’ll be better. Please.”

“Oliver–”

“I know, you’re scared. I know that’s on me, Felicity, and I so sorry that I made you feel abandoned,” Oliver cries, tears falling down his face, “Just one more chance. Give me one more chance, Felicity. We could leave this all be–”

Her heart aching for Oliver and with love for him, Felicity begins to let her fears go, “No, we won’t. We’re not leaving, Oliver. We’re not going to hide from the world so that we can work as a couple. We’re stronger than that.”

At her words, Oliver looks like the sun had come out after a year of darkness, “Felicity …”

“But there will be changes,” Felicity says in a strong voice, wiping her tears from her cheeks, “No more spending more than three days apart. You don’t get to sleep in the foundry without me. You don’t only go home when you run out of clean clothes. We have to take time out to be together – no matter how busy we are. We have to make the effort to make this work, Oliver – within our lives here.”

“Yes,” Oliver murmurs before cupping her face to pull her up for a kiss.

The kiss was all tongues and teeth and desperation at first – like gorging on water after a decade of thirst. Then it switched into something sweeter, less urgent, as soon as the desperation abated, turning into one of promise made with gentler sucking of tongues and nibbles on each others’ lips. They lost time as the one kiss turned into another, over and over again, as they held each other tightly in reunion.

After, before they could head to their bedroom to continue, Oliver raises his head to smile at Felicity, who smiles back, “I think, we have to eat something first.”

Felicity laughs softly before pecking Oliver and clasping his hand to lead him to the dining table.

/end

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr: http://outoftheclosetshipper.tumblr.com/post/126325237038/im-sorry-this-is-my-second-ask-im-binge-reading


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